“The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise”

– Benjamin Franklin, Statesman, Scientist, Philosopher, Inventor

Buenos Aires – I’m not catholic. I’m not christian. But I grew up in a neighborhood where most folks were. I remember christmas eve being a relatively quiet time – families and friends gathering, having small holiday parties, music playing, kids out in the snow, laughter – it wasn’t silent, but it wasn’t noisy. Twenty some years in New York seemed much the same. So what’s the deal here in Buenos Aires (and apparently other places – Sara up in Costa Rica reports a similar experience – with firecrackers and fireworks for christmas eve? I’m not talking about the random kid playing on the block who lets off a couple of small crackers. I’m talking about a full scale, all out assault on the senses. There were scattered snaps, crackles, and pops throughout the evening, somewhere around 9 or 9:30 p.m. they began to grow in frequency, quantity, and intensity. By the time midnight was reached, we could have been in downtown Baghdad on one of GWB’s bad hair days… It was deafening. I ask you, just exactly what does the birth of some middle eastern carpenter who went on to conquer the world post-mortem have to do with firecrackers? The sensorial pounding continued until 2 a.m., when it strangely, and miraculously (hey, I had to work in a miracle, no?) just stopped. Completely. Not a boom to be heard, and didn’t hear one the rest of the night. In fact, it’s eerily quiet this morning…

And that’s a good thing, because seven of us had polished off pretty much an entire eleven pound turkey, and I needed sleep. I’m convinced that I will never go back to a turkey simply tossed, willy-nilly, into the oven and roasted until dry as dust. Turkey on the parrilla is a juicy, wonderous thing to eat, with deep smoky flavors. I’ve had several Argentine friends contact me, convinced that it’s not possible (you’d think they’d be the first to support the use of a parrilla for anything!), unless you cut the turkey up first. They simply don’t believe it will cook through completely. I’ll admit, the little red popup button never popped – same back on thanksgiving. But, I don’t know what internal temperature it’s meant to pop at. What I know, is you put the turkey, whole (don’t stuff it, I’ve been warned that the stuffing won’t cook through), and just sprinkled with some coarse salt inside and out, on one side of the parrilla, away from the coals. Then you close the lid and walk away. About an hour an a half into it, I opened the lid and turned the turkey around 180° and then left it an hour longer, adding in some corn on the cob still in the husks at about the half hour point. At that point, the internal temp was about 155°F, which is basically verging on medium well. The one thing about the parrilla is that it doesn’t brown the turkey evenly or deeply, mostly because, I suppose, the upper side of the turkey is facing away from the heat source. So I throw it in a heated oven, with the convection fan going (if you have one), on high heat, for about 15-20 minutes, turning it a quarter turn every five minutes so it browns deeply and relatively evenly. By the time I took it out of the oven, it had hit just over 160°F internally – which as far as I’m concerned, is more than done enough. I presented it, carved it, pulled the husks off the corn and slathered them with butter, lemon juice, and salt, we had giblet gravy, deviled eggs, salad, and a variety of desserts (everyone contributed something – a nice change!)… and feasted.

The turkey lands on the grill…

Done grilling, along with some corn…

Finished browning in the oven…

Hungry guests ready to eat…

And lest some of you think I’m exaggerating about the firecrackers…

“South America”
Jenna’s Adventures in Paraguay
On the Road Travel
And yes, I DO take it personally

And before yet another person asks… yes, turkeys are available here. The domesticated turkey is raised in places scattered all over the world, including in South America. I bought it at the supermarket. There were dozens of them available, and the same at any supermarket I’ve seen here. They’re frozen, they have little popup timers stuck in them, everything we’re used to back home. I can even order one fresh through one of the local butchers. They do tend to be smaller than the ones I grew up around – I haven’t seen one larger than about 13 or 14 pounds, and generally they’re more like 10-11.