These have been collected over about two months… just one after the other that I wouldn’t return to, for one reason or another.

 

Heisenburger Recoleta, Vicente López 2190, Recoleta – My one experience of the original Heisenburger in Las Cañitas was so awful, that I resisted checking out the new one in Recoleta for more than a year, despite being 2 blocks from home. It was definitely a better experience, at least as far as the burger itself goes, which was, at the least, edible. Still nothing special, still overcooked. Fries were good. Toppings were okay at best. Service was totally directed towards the two dozen Rappi, Pedisoya, Glovo, Uber Eats delivery guys packing every table in the place waiting for orders to be ready, and unwilling to cede space to dine in customers. The day was registering a not so balmy 7°C, and because of the delivery guys, they had the whole front of the space wide open, and no heat on. Given that there wasn’t anywhere to sit anyway (they have an upstairs, but it was dark, the windows were open, and again, no heat), I took the burger to go. Wish I’d have just gone, without the burger.

 

Angus, Recoleta Mall, 3rd floor, Recoleta – Okay, one can’t have too high of expectations for a burger from a “fast casual” restaurant in a shopping mall, and I didn’t. Their “asado burger” was edible. It was a tad underseasoned, but it was a plump patty, and they cooked it rare as requested – hard enough to get done at a better burger spot in town, a complete surprise for a place of this style. The peppers and onions on top could have used more time on the grill to get really nice and charred, like the advertising showed, but they were fresh. The “tango sauce” on the side seemed to be “salsa golf” – a classic local fry sauce, or pink sauce, of half mayo and half ketchup. The fries were soft and blond, they needed another 2-3 minutes in the fryer. They also tack on a 28 peso cubierto charge on top of the burger’s price of 215 pesos… I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a cubierto charge at a fast food place in a shopping mall food court. That’s just greed.

 

Sultan Shawarma, Arenales 2607, Recoleta – Another new spot for middle eastern food here in the ‘hood, taking over the spot recently vacated by the execrable Chinese steam line takeout pay by weight spot Wok China, which took over for another of the same ilk, King Town. Ordered for delivery. A reasonably good, average quality shawarma. Nice flavor, a bit small, and other than a few shreds of lettuce, no vegetable in the mix. No hot sauce available. Meh.

 

Bull’s BBQ Smoke House, Costa Rica 4767, Palermo – I had high hopes for this one, after going to a smoked rib competition here between a couple of local chefs about a year or so ago… no, probably longer. It’s been on my list for ages, but it’s got weird opening hours – they open for lunch at 2pm on weekends only and then just stay open until midnight – the rest of the week they’re just open for dinner. But we managed to hold off on lunch one recent Sunday until 2. A trio of us ordered up their three meat combo of smoked brisket (good flavor but a bit mushy was the general consensus), smoked chorizo (excellent), and barbecued spareribs (good, but the sauce too sweet) accompanied by decent coleslaw, a dried out piece of cornbread, and a bowl of quite good thin fries. We also got the 8-hour smoked beef rib accompanied by fries. I have no idea what they did to this poor piece of meat. It had a weird, firm jelly-like texture, kind of like overcooked squid. As a guess? They sous vide cooked it, but not for long enough, so it firmed up into that texture, and then they cold smoked it rather than hot smoked it, to give it the flavor, but left it that weird texture. Just unpleasant to eat. Respectively, if I remember right, the combo plate was around 600 pesos and the beef rib around 400. Plus a round of pints, we spent around 450 pesos apiece, but didn’t come away happy campers.

 

Puerto Mataderos, Av. Directorio 5400, Mataderos – It was Independence Day, 9 de Julio, and we headed out to the famed empanada festival at the fairgrounds for the Fería de Mataderos. Unfortunately, so did several thousand other people, and with line waits of 30-45 minutes at each of the 25 stands, and many of them already running out of empanadas a mere two hours into a six hour event, we decided to bail, and walk along the main avenue until we found something open. The empanadas at this place were, let’s say, lacking, and they were out of all but two varieties of half a dozen. An order of sweetbreads was well and truly grilled, a touch beyond what we’d prefer. The national dish, locro, was of course on offer for the holiday. Let’s just say I wasn’t enamored of this version. Light on pretty much everything but tripa gorda, large intestine, with which it was jam-packed, it was just a somewhat unpleasant eating experience and it really didn’t even have much flavor. A big “no thanks” all around.

 

La Churrasquita, Av. Corrientes 1220, San Nicolas – If I remember right, this one got onto my radar as one of the competitors for either best parrilla or best milanesa in the city during one of last year’s interminable competitions for best ofs. It didn’t win, but it must have placed respectively – I have to start making notes on my map when I add something as to why I added it. But, there it was, there I was. It’s saddening that the best things to cross the table over lunch were the bottled water and the chicken liver pate to go with the bread. I love a good chopped liver, and this pate wasn’t bad at all. After that, it was all downhill. The house provoleta, what ought to be a grilled bomb of gooey and delicious cheese, was barely warmed, so the cheese was still solid and cold, topped with equally treated bacon, and an attempt at a sort of caprese salad with halved bocconcini, some basil leaves, and a tomato sauce – all cold, and all unseasoned. The peceto con tomate oreganato, I have to admit was at least partially my mistake, I didn’t realize the peceto, or top round steak, was breaded. But even that would have been fine had they not clearly been simply reheated, likely in a microwave – you can tell when something is patchily hot and cold, the breading is soggy, and once again, no seasoning. Even the tomatoes didn’t help, being underripe and hard. All in all, a fail.