I’ve been mulling this over for about a week now, trying to decide how to approach it.

The situation, recently, we had a guest who attended. Though not definitively ill, she was sweating a lot and appeared a bit pale. But she said she was fine. Next day, however, she sent me an email letting me know that, in fact, she hadn’t been fine, was running a fever, had other symptoms, and was waiting on the results of a Covid test. A bit later she informed me that the test was, indeed positive.

That put me in the position of having to notify all the other guests at the table that they had potentially been exposed. Despite that it may mar their experience of having dined with us, it’s the right thing to do.

This is the third time that this has happened in a two month period. And in each case, the person who came, while they didn’t yet know they had Covid, knew that they felt ill. And, we have no idea if the same has happened with guests who have chosen not to notify us. This puts both us and the other guests at risk – maybe not a high risk these days with vaccinations and past exposure, but especially in such an intimate setting, certainly more of a risk than going out for a walk or sitting at a sidewalk café.

And that’s the part that makes this a “situation”. Here’s the thing from my perspective. I appreciate that we have limited spaces and it’s often hard to get a reservation with us and that it might be the only time you happen to be coming to Buenos Aires. But that shouldn’t abrogate common sense.

It shouldn’t matter if it’s Covid or not. If it’s a cold. If it’s the flu. If it’s anything that is likely contagious simply by sitting and talking with other people, the intelligent, caring, social contract way of being ought to tell you you shouldn’t come to dinner. To come and sit at a communal table, to hang out in someone else’s home, actively contagious with something is not just irresponsible, it’s callous. It says you care more about your personal desires than protecting your fellow human beings.

One of the guests, in response to my concern, noted that they didn’t want to lose their deposit with us. The deposit is a way to discourage people from changing their mind at last minute and deciding to go elsewhere, after we’ve planned and bought and cooked for them. We’re not stupid nor insensitive about it, and understand that emergencies and illnesses happen, and regularly refund them when the situation clearly warrants it.

There’s not much we can do on our end to prevent this, and yes, one always takes a risk of exposure to many things when going out socially. I’m not sure how to approach it, or if there even is an approach. As I said to a friend in discussing this, the people who choose to come despite being ill already know they’re being inconsiderate and selfish and have decided to come anyway. And I’m sure if they read this, they’ll justify it in their own minds anyway. <rant over>